Monster Mom =(

It's been two years and three months since I became a parent. I thought I would already know better by this time but I still often find myself sulking in one corner with regrets of what I did or did not do. Sometimes I honestly think that I'm not fit to become a mother :(

Zoe is at her trying two's and it's been a crazy ride. A lot of people commend me on how behaved she is whenever we go out. Yes, at her age, I definitely have a lot of things to be proud of but I think that it is with that fact that I have also come to raise my expectations  from her. Expectations that are sometimes too high for a kid of her age. 

Earlier I had another temper blow out with her and I was so frustrated over something that was actually petty. She got terrified of me but instead of moving away from me, she just cried on my shoulders. What kind of a monster have I become? And while I was preparing for work, she tried to make it up to me by being sweet. She even complimented me while I was putting my pants on and said 'Wow, Mommy, ganda ganda.' and helped me put my belt on. It just crushed my heart that even when I showed immaturity and pointless anger at her earlier, she still found it in her young heart to make ammends and make me happy. What have I ever done in my life to deserve this sweet little girl? 

And so I went to work with a heavy heart full of guilt over what I did today. I pray that God may give me more patience and wisdom to be the parent that I should be.