Iñigo Alessandro Manila-Dy
Wednesday, September 4, 2019
Van and the Bun
This pregnancy has been quite tough but my baby is strong and resilient. This is me at 6 weeks 4 days pregnant.
14 weeks
15 weeks
16 weeks
20 weeks
22 weeks
I am currently 24 weeks and 2 days heavy and am due for a congenital scan on Saturday. This pregnancy hasn't been a breeze with all the nausea, vomitting, and contractions but I try to stay healthy and active as much as I can. I can't do heavy cardio anymore so I do low impact cardio + pre natal pilates or yoga everyday. I once posted a video of me doing a circuit at the gym and my OB got so stressed about it. I mean, physically I knew I could do it at that time but she didn't want to risk it. Since I am on my 6th month, my tummy has gotten bigger and heavier so I get tired easily and it frustrates me like crazy when I pant after climbing 1 flight of stairs. I mean, what's up with that? I used to take the stairs from the 7th floor of our office building all the way to the 19th. So anyway, I follow BodyFitness by Amy in Youtube and I try to vary my workouts so I don't plateau but all in all, as long as I'm not feeling unwell, I exercise everyday. I even exercise a little at work on my desk.
12 weeks
14 weeks
15 weeks
22 weeks
I am currently 24 weeks and 2 days heavy and am due for a congenital scan on Saturday. This pregnancy hasn't been a breeze with all the nausea, vomitting, and contractions but I try to stay healthy and active as much as I can. I can't do heavy cardio anymore so I do low impact cardio + pre natal pilates or yoga everyday. I once posted a video of me doing a circuit at the gym and my OB got so stressed about it. I mean, physically I knew I could do it at that time but she didn't want to risk it. Since I am on my 6th month, my tummy has gotten bigger and heavier so I get tired easily and it frustrates me like crazy when I pant after climbing 1 flight of stairs. I mean, what's up with that? I used to take the stairs from the 7th floor of our office building all the way to the 19th. So anyway, I follow BodyFitness by Amy in Youtube and I try to vary my workouts so I don't plateau but all in all, as long as I'm not feeling unwell, I exercise everyday. I even exercise a little at work on my desk.
The start of a new adventure
So a day before our Boracay trip last April for my birthday, I had an inkling to do a pregnancy test because of my weird eating habits. I've had plenty of false alarms so I wasn't fully expecting anything. I figured that I needed to find out so that I'd know whether I could drink on this trip or not 😁
On my break at work, I went to 7-11 and bought a PT. And there it was.
Mind you, I have trust issues so I decided to go to St Luke's BGC to have a formal test made. I went thru a trans vaginal ultrasound and was told I was definitely pregnant. I held off telling Dan about it because I wanted to do so in person. When he picked me up, I was holding the ultrasound results and he looked at it.
Now, we were debating how to tell Zoe, not because we were worried of her reaction but because we wanted it a little theatric. Zoe has been asking for a sibling for the longest time and we have been non committal about. However, when Dan posted the PT result in their family chat group, Zoe asked about it when we got home so we had to tell her. We were surprised when she cried and she said how happy she was. Now, she's going to finally be an Achie.
On my break at work, I went to 7-11 and bought a PT. And there it was.
Mind you, I have trust issues so I decided to go to St Luke's BGC to have a formal test made. I went thru a trans vaginal ultrasound and was told I was definitely pregnant. I held off telling Dan about it because I wanted to do so in person. When he picked me up, I was holding the ultrasound results and he looked at it.
Now, we were debating how to tell Zoe, not because we were worried of her reaction but because we wanted it a little theatric. Zoe has been asking for a sibling for the longest time and we have been non committal about. However, when Dan posted the PT result in their family chat group, Zoe asked about it when we got home so we had to tell her. We were surprised when she cried and she said how happy she was. Now, she's going to finally be an Achie.
A Love Story
2nd semester of freshman college, I published a family biography as part of my requirements for Filipino. In it was an entire chapter dedicated to Mama. I asked her to read the hard bound book before I submitted it to my professor. To my surprise, she wept on what I thought was a mere objective view of how she was as a mother to us. She didn't say much but she thanked me for my appreciation of all her efforts into raising us. It was a rare moment as we weren't a verbally expressive kind of family. After years of bickering and sassing one another, we reached a turning point in our mother-daughter relationship.
Ours was never perfect. We were annoyed with one another frequently, we offended each other with our duplicate ferocious personalities but as years went by, I found myself slowly becoming more like Mama in more ways than one. Mama was severely protective of our family, I was fiercely protective of her.
February 18, Mama's 3rd day at the hospital. I spoke to her lead doctor and there she broke the news. Her liver cirrhosis, which was diagnosed in 2016, was on its end stage. To top it off, several lumps have been detected on her liver, the biggest one to be 11cm. I was in disbelief, I broke into tears. I didn't know how to face her or what to tell her. My siblings and I agreed to conceal the truth from her and to move back to her house to look after her and take care of her.
A week and a half later, we took her to the hospital again. A procedure to drain fluids out of her stomach so she could breathe better was scheduled but could not be done. There was not much water inside. We decided it was time for her to know the truth. My heart was crushed seeing how she tried to be brave as she took the news. The following day, I wheeled her to the chapel and my sister and I prayed with her. I tried to bargain with the Lord. I wasnt ready to surrender her yet. Every night that I slept beside her, I lay awake watching her breathe. Everytime I fell asleep, I'd jolt right back up when I hear her move. Even as she scolded me to go back to sleep, I couldnt and I would just sit beside her ready to wait on her for whatever she needed. On days I could try to squeeze in a bit of workout, she'd tell me off for exhausting myself and I'd jokingly tell her that I needed to exercise so I can lift her because nobody else could.
March 22, my siblings and I surrendered her to the Lord. We told her she can rest and that we were thankful that she gave all that she could for us. In her room, we held her hand and took turns kissing her forehead, telling her how much we love her. There are no words to describe how it felt to watch your parent die. How excruciating it was to watch her breathing decline. How painful it was to let her go. I don't know how I will recover from the last scenes in my head of how they covered her body as they took her to the morgue. As a child, my greatest fear was to lose my parents. And there I was, losing the last parent I had.
The first time I came back to her room, it was exactly how it was when we left it the morning of March 22nd. Her recliner, her medicines, the smell of efficascent oil, her oxygen tank. I thought I would lose my mind. I cradled her Nazarene hanky, the blanket she used the night before, and I just broke down and questioned why it had to be her. Why did it have to be my mom?
Mama was one of the bravest people I have ever met. And I say this not just because she is my mother but because she had shown me courage in every way. She taught me to be generous and kindhearted to those in need. She also taught me to be strong amidst trials and to be resilient despite challenges. She gave a piece of herself not just to us but to anyone who needed it. Regardless if she was left with nothing or if those people betrayed her, she would still give nonetheless.
My daughter frequently says that Mama always gives me anything I want. In every way and any way that she can, she gave me everything she had. Her love is what sustained me, her absence is what cripples me. I love you so much, Mama. Please tell me how to go on.
Ours was never perfect. We were annoyed with one another frequently, we offended each other with our duplicate ferocious personalities but as years went by, I found myself slowly becoming more like Mama in more ways than one. Mama was severely protective of our family, I was fiercely protective of her.
February 18, Mama's 3rd day at the hospital. I spoke to her lead doctor and there she broke the news. Her liver cirrhosis, which was diagnosed in 2016, was on its end stage. To top it off, several lumps have been detected on her liver, the biggest one to be 11cm. I was in disbelief, I broke into tears. I didn't know how to face her or what to tell her. My siblings and I agreed to conceal the truth from her and to move back to her house to look after her and take care of her.
A week and a half later, we took her to the hospital again. A procedure to drain fluids out of her stomach so she could breathe better was scheduled but could not be done. There was not much water inside. We decided it was time for her to know the truth. My heart was crushed seeing how she tried to be brave as she took the news. The following day, I wheeled her to the chapel and my sister and I prayed with her. I tried to bargain with the Lord. I wasnt ready to surrender her yet. Every night that I slept beside her, I lay awake watching her breathe. Everytime I fell asleep, I'd jolt right back up when I hear her move. Even as she scolded me to go back to sleep, I couldnt and I would just sit beside her ready to wait on her for whatever she needed. On days I could try to squeeze in a bit of workout, she'd tell me off for exhausting myself and I'd jokingly tell her that I needed to exercise so I can lift her because nobody else could.
March 22, my siblings and I surrendered her to the Lord. We told her she can rest and that we were thankful that she gave all that she could for us. In her room, we held her hand and took turns kissing her forehead, telling her how much we love her. There are no words to describe how it felt to watch your parent die. How excruciating it was to watch her breathing decline. How painful it was to let her go. I don't know how I will recover from the last scenes in my head of how they covered her body as they took her to the morgue. As a child, my greatest fear was to lose my parents. And there I was, losing the last parent I had.
The first time I came back to her room, it was exactly how it was when we left it the morning of March 22nd. Her recliner, her medicines, the smell of efficascent oil, her oxygen tank. I thought I would lose my mind. I cradled her Nazarene hanky, the blanket she used the night before, and I just broke down and questioned why it had to be her. Why did it have to be my mom?
Mama was one of the bravest people I have ever met. And I say this not just because she is my mother but because she had shown me courage in every way. She taught me to be generous and kindhearted to those in need. She also taught me to be strong amidst trials and to be resilient despite challenges. She gave a piece of herself not just to us but to anyone who needed it. Regardless if she was left with nothing or if those people betrayed her, she would still give nonetheless.
My daughter frequently says that Mama always gives me anything I want. In every way and any way that she can, she gave me everything she had. Her love is what sustained me, her absence is what cripples me. I love you so much, Mama. Please tell me how to go on.
Welcome back!
Wow. It's been 4 years since I last blogged. Zoe was still in preschool and she's now in 4th grade.
2019 has been a mix of ups and downs, storms and rainbows. Yet, I'm here, it's half past the year.
Two things -- Mama passed away in March. A month later, I found out that I'm pregnant.
My next post is all about my tribute to Mama. It's been 5 months and yet, I still think it's a dream and that I'll wake up to find her in her house playing candy crush and wanting to go out. I miss Mama. I never will stop miss her.
2019 has been a mix of ups and downs, storms and rainbows. Yet, I'm here, it's half past the year.
Two things -- Mama passed away in March. A month later, I found out that I'm pregnant.
My next post is all about my tribute to Mama. It's been 5 months and yet, I still think it's a dream and that I'll wake up to find her in her house playing candy crush and wanting to go out. I miss Mama. I never will stop miss her.
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