The road to weaning

Zoe was exclusively breastfed for 9 months and it worked wonders for her health. It was also an exceptional bonding experience between me and her which I had hoped to prolong until I eventually had difficulties pumping milk at work. Speaking of work, it was challenging to switch her from breast to bottle just when I was about to go back to work because she was a comfort nurser too. That was when my husband and I decided to get her a binky to ease her into the transition.

I really wish we didnt. If we never did, we wouldn't be in this heart wrenching situation of having to wean her from her binky at 2 years old. Her binky is her soother/bestfriend/car companion. It has saved us from a lot of screaming and tantrums. recently though, her Avent binky already showed signs of distress when Zoe started nibbling around it producing a hole near its root. I get nightmares just imagining her teeth piercing the binky completely and getting stuck in her throat. So before that nightmare happens, I told Dan that I was cutting off the binky completely to start the weaning. Today. Today when both of us had gotten back to work after the long holiday. Geez.

So I cut it off at the part where the hole was. It left a part of the nipple still but not long enough for her to suck. When she asked for it after she took a bath, I showed her the 'broken binky'. I couldnt name the emotion that struck her face the most but what I remember was that she was shocked to see her binky in that state. She didnt cry yet but she tried it on and of course it felt weird. She then started crying and held it in front of me asking me why her binky was so 'small'. My heart was shattered to see her tears as she was showing her binky to me, I wanted to run to the nearby mall to get her another one. But I hugged her and told her that her binky needed to go away already. It took her 3 bottles of milk just to get through her afternoon nap, with her binky in her hand. 

When she woke up, she showed me her binky and told me how it already smelled bad so she put it in the basket where we place her milk bottles at bedside. 

Today's the first day. I hope we'd be able to ease her into kicking her binky habit without having her resort into another hard-to-break-habit.